Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other couples, and to practice these principles in all aspects of our lives, our relationship, and our families.

Step Twelve is about taking the message of couple recovery to other couples. Those who have worked the Twelve Steps have much to offer other couples. When we are able to shine the light of our own recovery experiences in such a manner that others find their own way, we are practicing the Twelfth Step.

We find that spiritual awakenings are seldom sudden occurrences, but more generally gradual shifts in perspective. These spiritual awakenings often take place through couples working the Steps of RCA together. We typically gain an awareness of the importance of our coupleship as “a oneness and an entity,” and thus reach new levels of commitment. When we learn that neither one of us is the center of the universe, we may be able to see how we fit together and how our coupleship fits into the rest of the world. These awakenings transform us both individually and as a couple.

We acquire new depth and understanding of the wisdom of the Twelve Steps. As we watch other couples around us being transformed, we witness the spiritual nature of the program in action. We come to believe in miracles.

Just as in our individual programs, in the RCA fellowship we carry the message in many ways including:

  • Sharing as a couple in RCA meetings
  • Seeking and accepting service positions
  • Being sponsors and temporary sponsors
  • Carrying the message of hope to others:
    • at retreats
    • in our individual program meetings, for example, by posting flyers and ads, as well as talking about RCA to people who have “couple issues”
    • by informing the helping community (spiritual, medical, legal, and counseling)
    • by making a schedule of RCA meetings available
  • Supporting the national convention through participation, voting as a group delegate couple, and making financial contributions
  • Serving on the World Service Organization (WSO) Board of Trustees, or on a WSO Service Committee, or volunteering
  • Writing our couple story and sharing it with others (especially by having it published in the RCA Blue Book)

Having worked these Twelve Steps, it is important to remember that Step work is meant for a lifetime. As we practice these Steps we have a better understanding of our history, our lives, our coupleship,
and our Higher Power. As we share our experience, strength, and hope, we see the positive effects on our relationships, and if we have children we can break the chains that have bound families for generations. We learn from those couples who have gone before. The message we carry is a liberating one. Working with newcomers is not only a rewarding experience; it shows where we have been and where we need to go.