Each group has but one primary purposeto carry its message to recovering couples who still suffer.
Tradition Five suggests that we will best be able to help other couples who are still suffering when we first help ourselves practice the Twelve Steps. The Twelve Steps give us the guidance we need to:
- share our own experience, strength and hope with other couples,
- give comfort to other couples, and
- listen to other couples.
Each Recovering Couples Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose that of carrying its message of intimacy and commitment to couples who still suffer.
Many couples come to RCA not knowing if they belong. Some may not even be aware that anything is wrong with their coupleship. In RCA we have the “Characteristics of Dysfunctional Couples,” which is a list to help couples identify problem areas in their coupleships. Couples do not have to relate to all of these to admit their coupleships are suffering or to seek help or guidance. The identification of such characteristics serves to let us know that “we are not alone” in our struggle to find intimacy.
RCA believes that a coupleship is like an infant, needing constant nurturing and care from both partners. It is important that each partner accepts responsibility for the problems or progress of the coupleship, and that each recognizes individual recovery as an important factor for couple recovery. In RCA we think of coupleship as being represented by a three-legged stool: our individual recovery, our partner’s recovery, and our coupleship recovery are all important “legs” to the serenity, stability, and intimacy we seek.
When we welcome newcomer couples to our fellowship, we share our experience, strength and hope. We offer spiritual support and the opportunity to connect with other couples, typically through sponsorship, meetings, and RCA social events. We provide -approved literature, the Blue Book, the newcomer brochure, and where possible a listing of meetings in the area and local phone numbers. Tradition Five reflects that in order to “get the program,” we must “give it away!”