Rebecca and Barton (Chair)

Stu & Nikki

Agnes & Dave

Cara & Keith

            Don & Robin (Secretary)

            Robin & Donna

            Cheri & Ellie

            Mel & Dennis


Meeting called to Order at 11:40 A.M. PST


Serenity prayer

Review and approval of minutes from April 3, 2024

Motion to approve: Dave, Second by Don. Motion carries unanimously.


Chair Reports

Secretary – n/a

Treasurer –

Activity Summary (4/1/2024 – 4/27/2024)
Beginning Available Balance 921.98
Payments received 48.00
Payments sent -10.12
Withdrawals and Debits 0.00
Deposits and Credits 0.00
Fees -4.03
Ending Available Balance 955.83

Greeter – Cara and Keith: Requested back as they are expecting their baby soon.  Group will cover for them as greeters during the time they are away.

Contact List – n/a

Web – Robin and Donna: Recent edits to the website have been completed.  Renewal for Web Hosting Service of $287 will automatically renew on June 23, 2024.  It will be charged to Robin & Donna’s credit card so the group trusted them to either pay it early or allow it to renew and once it’s paid the payment will be reimbursed to them from the group’s treasury.


Motion to adjourn the meeting – Dave, Second by Keith. Motion carries unanimously.



Meeting Adjourned at 11:50 A.M. PST


Serenity Prayer


Shawna and Gunter

Rebecca and Barton

Stu and Nikki

Agnes and Dave

Cara and Keith

Jared and Julia


Meeting called to Order at 11:40 A.M. PST

  • Serenity prayer
  • Review and approval of minutes from February 25, 2024

Motion to approve: Gunter,  Second by Dave. Motion carries unanimously.

  • Chair Reports
    • Secretary – Barton: n/a
    • Treasurer – Jared
      Activity Summary (2/25/2024 – 3/30/2024) in USD
      Beginning Available Balance 864.13
      Payments received 60.00
      Payments sent 0.00
      Withdrawals and Debits 0.00
      Deposits and Credits 0.00
      Fees -5.54
      Ending Available Balance 918.59

Motion to approve Treasurer report – Cara, Second by Nikki. Motion carries unanimously

    • Greeter – Cara and Keith: n/a
    • Contact List – Dave and Agnes: n/a
    • Web – Robin and Donna: n/a
  • Old Business


  • New Business

WSO requested a specific point of contact for our meeting (names, phone, email address), not just a generic email address.  Shawna: Dave and Agnes offered to give their names and phone number, but we will ask WSO to keep as the main contact email address so information can still get to the meeting even when secretary changes over.  They just want their database complete.

Motion: Give WSO a couple’s contact info (i.e. 2 names and 2 phone numbers) for the database, and keep the email address as Second: Stu.

Motion carries unanimously.

Stu and Nikki offered to give their contact info.

  • Motion to adjourn the meeting – Dave, Second by Stu. Motion carries unanimously.


Meeting Adjourned at 12:05 P.M. PST

Serenity Prayer


David irw Kapiko

Rebecca and Barton

Robin and Donna

Ellie irw Cherie

Cara irw Keith

Jared irw Julia

Don and Robin


Meeting called to Order at 11:40 A.M. PST

  1. Serenity prayer
  2. Review and approval of minutes from January 28, 2024

Motion to approve: Barton,  Second by Robin. Motion carries unanimously.

  1. Chair Reports

a. Secretary – Barton

In contact with Andrew and Emma.  They agreed to be co-secretary for another 3 months.

b. Treasurer – Jared

Activity Summary (1/28/2024 – 2/24/2024)
Beginning Available Balance 809.03
Payments received 60.00
Payments sent 0.00
Withdrawals and Debits 0.00
Deposits and Credits 0.00
Fees -4.90
Ending Available Balance 864.13

Motion to approve Treasurer report – Robin, Second by Ellie. Motion carries unanimously

c. Greeter – Cara

Not been at all meetings.  Been getting covered.  We need to discuss about our ability to keep the commitment, but as of now it works.

d. Contact List – Dave and Agnes

Not present.

e. Web Team – Robin

Minutes from last business meeting were posted.  Will discuss Web Security Committee Meeting Report later.  Nothing else to report.


Old Business

a. Web Team Security Committee meeting report – Robin. 

i. RCA Trailblazers Web Team Security Meeting, November 18, 2023
The security policy discussion included a recommendation that Robin irw Donna would meet individually with Ruth irw Debbie once Ruth met with web service provider to discuss the capabilities to make it more secure and to explore the existence of a secure place to store Trailblazers documents including a password storage document.  The discussion in this meeting also included a two factor authentication procedure to add additional security.
ii. Meeting with Trailblazer Website Originators, Ruth irw Debbie, December 1, 2023
Robin met with Ruth subsequent to her discussions with the web service provider. Ruth confirmed that the web service provider package that Trailblazers subscribes to includes FTP and secure storage where Trailblazers documents can be securely stored (potentially including a password file and service position details and documentation). This storage can serve as a central password location which will be useful with rotation of leadership and changing service position holders.  Ruth had the password to web service provider ’s account management panel  (where the Trailblazers domain and hosting plans are managed) and email management panel (email address forwarding for service positions) changed. Robin and Ruth are currently the only holders of this particular password. The password for the web page editor for the Trailblazers web pages has not changed.

Motion – Robin, Second by Barton: That a password document be created to save all passwords.  It will be uploaded to the secure storage on web service provider along with any other service description documents. Motion carries unanimously.

Motion for Web Team Security Committee to continue work to discuss two-factor authentication and include Jared – made by Barton, Second by Don. Motion carries unanimously.

b. Discussion to continue to announce for Business Meeting Secretary. No volunteers for service position have stepped up yet.  Motion to table – Donna, Second by Barton. Motion carries unanimously.

New Business

There was no new business to discuss.

Motion to adjourn the meeting – Don, Second by Barton. Motion carries unanimously.

Meeting Adjourned at 12:07 P.M. PST

Serenity Prayer



Agnes and Dave

Rebecca and Barton

Robin and Donna

Shawna and Gunter 


Jared and Julia


Don and Robin


Meeting called to Order at 11:40 A.M. PST

a. Serenity prayer

b. Request grated for unanimous consent to set meeting length at 20 minutes.


c. Review and approval of minutes from November 26, 2023

Motion to approve: Dave,  Second by Shawna

d. Treasurer Report by Jared and Julia (forward email to Webteam)

Activity Summary (11/26/2023 – 12/30/2023)
Beginning Available Balance:  $371.85
Payments received $35.00
Payments sent $0.00
Withdrawals and Debits $0.00
Deposits and Credits $0.00
Fees $-3.76
Ending Available Balance $403.09

Activity Summary (12/31/2023 – 1/27/2024)
Beginning Available Balance $403.09
Payments received $435.00
Payments sent $-9.91
Withdrawals and Debits $0.00
Deposits and Credits $0.00
Fees $-19.15
Ending Available Balance $809.03

Motion approved and seconded.


e. Business meeting Secretary

Discussed. possibility who will volunteer at the time of the meeting?  (Robin, I am not clear if anything got resolved concerning this issue. Nor if anything was approved about it. We moved into the web security discussion too rapidly for me to hear a resolution offered on the business secretary.


f. Webteam security.

Discussed. Will bring further ideas to the following business meeting February 25, 2024


g. Motion to adjourn the meeting

Motion carries


Meeting Adjourned at 12:10 P.M. PST

Serenity Prayer

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other couples, and to practice these principles in all aspects of our lives, our relationship, and our families.

Step Twelve is about taking the message of couple recovery to other couples. Those who have worked the Twelve Steps have much to offer other couples. When we are able to shine the light of our own recovery experiences in such a manner that others find their own way, we are practicing the Twelfth Step.

We find that spiritual awakenings are seldom sudden occurrences, but more generally gradual shifts in perspective. These spiritual awakenings often take place through couples working the Steps of RCA together. We typically gain an awareness of the importance of our coupleship as “a oneness and an entity,” and thus reach new levels of commitment. When we learn that neither one of us is the center of the universe, we may be able to see how we fit together and how our coupleship fits into the rest of the world. These awakenings transform us both individually and as a couple.

We acquire new depth and understanding of the wisdom of the Twelve Steps. As we watch other couples around us being transformed, we witness the spiritual nature of the program in action. We come to believe in miracles.

Just as in our individual programs, in the RCA fellowship we carry the message in many ways including:

  • Sharing as a couple in RCA meetings
  • Seeking and accepting service positions
  • Being sponsors and temporary sponsors
  • Carrying the message of hope to others:
    • at retreats
    • in our individual program meetings, for example, by posting flyers and ads, as well as talking about RCA to people who have “couple issues”
    • by informing the helping community (spiritual, medical, legal, and counseling)
    • by making a schedule of RCA meetings available
  • Supporting the national convention through participation, voting as a group delegate couple, and making financial contributions
  • Serving on the World Service Organization (WSO) Board of Trustees, or on a WSO Service Committee, or volunteering
  • Writing our couple story and sharing it with others (especially by having it published in the RCA Blue Book)

Having worked these Twelve Steps, it is important to remember that Step work is meant for a lifetime. As we practice these Steps we have a better understanding of our history, our lives, our coupleship,
and our Higher Power. As we share our experience, strength, and hope, we see the positive effects on our relationships, and if we have children we can break the chains that have bound families for generations. We learn from those couples who have gone before. The message we carry is a liberating one. Working with newcomers is not only a rewarding experience; it shows where we have been and where we need to go.



We sought through our common prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

In Step Eleven we have an opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with our Higher Power. This Step is about our spiritual awakening. We improve conscious contact with our Higher Power through prayer and meditation. Appropriate prayer is sincere, humble, and not for our own
selfish gain. We pray for knowledge of our Higher Power ’s will for us and for willingness to act on it. Meditation is an ancient art of quieting the mind. Some of us find it difficult to sit quietly and relax or quiet our racing mind, but this becomes easier with continued practice.Couples achieving some progress with this Step may develop a greater sense of gratitude. Many of us feel a sense of being connected, guided, and sustained as we work together as a couple.

It is beneficial to spend daily intimate time together. We find that intimacy with our partner depends not only on connecting emotionally, but also spiritually. As we develop more trust in our Higher Power we can become more vulnerable and find a deeper acceptance of each other. At this point you may want to revisit your spiritual quest in Step Three to review what you want to add or change.

If you have difficulty praying or lack experience with prayer and meditation, it is suggested that you use the Serenity Prayer:

God grant us the serenity

To accept the things we cannot change

Courage to change the things we can

And wisdom to know the difference


God grant us the serenity

Serenity  means no longer recoiling from the past, no longer living in fear because of our present behavior, nor worrying about the future. To maintain serenity, we regularly seek healthier behaviors. We try to avoid depletion, which tends to make us vulnerable to despair and old, self-destructive patterns.

To accept the things we cannot change

Acceptance means acknowledging that there are situations over which we have no control. By changing our behavior, we avoid the suffering that comes from clinging to that which no longer exists.

Courage to change the things we can

Courage to Change– involves giving up our attempts to control outcomes, but it does not require that we give up our boundaries or best efforts. It does mean an honest appraisal of the limits of what we can change.

And wisdom to know the difference

Wisdom in RCA often comes from painful experiences in which we tried to control situations that frightened us, only to discover that we could not. Wisdom is our ability to evaluate our past experiences, learn from them, and let them go. Wisdom is critical in determining which things we can change and which we can’t. Once we arrive at a degree of acceptance and begin to let go, we find a new energy and enthusiasm for life.


We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it to our partner and to others we had harmed.

Step Ten is about continuing to take inventory of our coupleship by reviewing our behavior. A suggested way of taking this inventory is to ask: “What has my partner done to help the coupleship?” and “What have I done to harm the coupleship?” Also, “What have we, as a couple, done to harm or help others?” This can be done daily or weekly, privately or publicly. Much of our harmful behavior involves blaming our partner. A daily or weekly inventory tends to reverse the process of blaming. It also expresses what we like and appreciate in our partner. In first doing the Tenth Step, it may be helpful to write this inventory. By its nature Step Ten is an ongoing process, repeated as often as
necessary. The hope is that this new behavior will become familiar and automatic.

Ongoing practice of Step Ten maintains our honesty and humility. If we become comfortable and start believing we don’t need to continue practicing Step Ten or regularly attending meetings, we tend
to become irritable and short-tempered, think negatively, and may relapse. Examples of relapse behavior might include avoidance, excessive working, compulsive spending, isolation, busyness, control, manipulation, withholding feelings, and difficulty with intimacy. Nothing stays the same in our life or coupleship. We are either growing or regressing.

RCA suggests three types of ongoing inventories:

  1. Spot-check inventory: Whenever agitated or fearful, you might pause and spot-check your underlying motives.
  2. Daily or weekly inventory: What have I done that is harmful to our coupleship? What has my partner done to support our coupleship?
  3. Long-term periodic inventory: Perhaps an annual spiritual retreat focused on how your coupleship has grown (or not), and your role and your partner’s role in this growth.

Step Ten is ongoing and never fully completed. However, having demonstrated a willingness to fully understand our own role in the dance of the coupleship, we should be ready to move on to the
spirituality of Step Eleven.

We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

This is another action step and requires a willingness to confront our issues. In order to avoid unintended harm, you may wish to review your proposed amends with your sponsor couple. For example, parents or children might be harmed by learning of compulsive behaviors. This Step takes courage, good judgment, and a careful sense of timing.

Many of us begin our Ninth Step with our children. Depending on their maturity, we discuss our unhealthy behaviors only when it is clear they will not be harmed. We make further amends to our children by respecting them as individuals, by maintaining our own recovery, and by striving to be healthy and happy adults ourselves.

We caution you not to confuse apologies with amends. Sometimes apologies are called for, but apologies are not amends. Amends are made by repairing damage when possible, and then acting
differently. For example, we can apologize ten times for being late to a meeting, but this does not “amend” the issue. Being on time and changing our behavior becomes our amends.

As we repair the damage done to others, we are healing our own coupleship. We find satisfaction in knowing we are doing all we can to pay off emotional, material, moral, and spiritual debts.

In preparation for the actual making of the amends we suggest that you:

  1. Read the Safety Guidelines
  2. Devote time to prayer or meditation
  3. Think about what you want to say
  4. Be clear—possibly writing out your amends
  5. Create a comfortable, safe setting

In making the actual amends we suggest that you:

  1. Keep it simple
  2. Express a desire and/or ask permission:
  • “I (we) need to admit the harm I (we) have done and take responsibility for my (our) actions. I (we) would like to make amends to you. Are you willing to receive an amends?”

The form of our amends may be something like this:

  • I (We) want to make an amends about _______.
  • I (We) ask for your forgiveness.
  • I (We) plan to change my (our) behavior by _______.

In making amends, we also need to make amends to ourselves and our partner. How do we make amends to ourselves? We develop new attitudes that reflect a willingness to love and forgive ourselves. The format for making an individual or coupleship amends may be similar to other amends, but you may want to use this suggested format:

  • I want to make an amends to our coupleship about _______.
  • I would like you to forgive me for all the words that were said out of fear (thoughtlessness, inconsideration, anger, immaturity, self- righteousness, selfishness, etc.) and out of my own confusion.
  • I ask for your forgiveness.
  • I plan to change my behavior by _______.

As a result of doing our amends we are developing ourselves as persons within a healthy relationship. We ask our Higher Power for the courage and wisdom to face each new challenge in our coupleship. We take responsibility for our mistakes and learn from our experiences.

The final three Steps are about practicing what we learned in the first nine Steps.

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Eight is about those people—including ourselves—who have been harmed by our couple dysfunction, such as family members, children, friends, and co-workers. In this Step, we continue to take our coupleship inventory. This Step helps us to interact with other people in new ways. It calls for changes in our behavior.

In Step Eight we need to determine the harm that we have caused. What is the exact nature of this harm? It helps to categorize our wrongdoing into the following four groups:

Emotional Wrongs

  • Raging
  • Holding grudges
  • Withholding information
  • Giving our partner “the silent treatment”
  • Making shaming or blaming statements

Material Wrongs

  • Borrowing, spending, or withholding money selfishly
  • Cheating, or not abiding by terms of couple contracts
  • Disregarding others’ boundaries regarding personal things
  • Destroying or violating joint property

Moral Wrongs

  • Setting bad examples
  • Engaging in infidelity, broken promises, lying
  • Engaging in emotional, physical, sexual, or verbal abuse

Spiritual Wrongs

  • Neglecting obligations to ourselves, family, support group, or community
  • Avoiding self-development
  • Lacking gratitude
  • Neglecting our spiritual quest
  • Lacking humility
  • Being self-righteous
  • Preoccupying ourselves to the point of emotional unavailability

Now we suggest that you look at the facts and ask yourselves:

  1. What are your thoughts and feelings about the harm you have done?
  2. What are your fears about making amends?
  3. What causes your resistance to making amends?
  4. What consequences of your harmful behavior are you willing to accept?
  5. What are the ways you plan to make amends?

Now that you have a better idea how your coupleship dysfunction has affected yourselves and others, make a list of people you have harmed, including yourselves. Review your amends list with your sponsor couple. Now ask for guidance on how to make amends that will not hurt others. When direct amends are not appropriate or possible, we suggest you devise alternative amends, such as praying for the well-being of those people, being kind and responsible to your partner and others, doing community service, or donating to a charity.

We become willing to make amends to our partner, our-selves, and others by admitting the harm we have done. As we become willing to look at our own behavior, we tend to become more tolerant and
forgiving, less rigid and judgmental. Our viewpoints, attitudes, and beliefs will begin to change as a result of our participation in this process. Now we should be ready to move on to Step Nine.


We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

In Step Seven, we need to form a working partnership with our Higher Power. We seek humility. Humility is defined in many ways, including the ability to face reality; knowing there is a Higher Power, and we, or our partner, are not it; not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking about
ourselves less; being spiritually no better than, but no less than, anyone or any other couple. The real change happens as we let go of our false pride and work to change in partnership with our Higher Power.

We frequently ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. We know we can’t change our old ways of doing things on our own, but in partnership with our Higher Power, we can. The more we work the RCA program, the more our shortcomings are relieved. Many of us found contracts to be a vital tool in overcoming these shortcomings by adding accountability (see contract information
in Appendix) . We learn to avoid being too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired (HALT), as these states seem to make our shortcomings worse. At the very least, we avoid making crucial decisions while experiencing these states.

A suggested Seventh Step Prayer (or meditation topic):
I want to be more sensitive to my partner,
as sensitivity to my partner opens awareness of my innermost self.
Higher Power, help me become more open and aware.
I need to see my own fear behind my shortcomings:
my tendency to be sarcastic and stubborn,
my tendency to blame and make my partner wrong,
my need to make my partner feel disrespected and “less than.”
Higher Power, help me find the courage to acknowledge my own shortcomings,
instead of focusing on those of my partner.
I promise to try to use the coupleship tools I have learned
to stop interrupting my partner,
to speak from “I” statements,
and to acknowledge the strengths my partner brings to our coupleship.
Higher Power, teach me humility and remove my character defects
so that I may love more sincerely and completely.