Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
In RCA, as in all other 12-Step programs, the concept of personal anonymity appears as a multi-layered protection. At its most basic level, being anonymous protects us from public disclosure of our addictions and other dysfunctions. Doubtless, it was in this sense that the concept was first used in 12-Step programs. However, as the concept became a fixture of 12-Step culture, it came to be understood as having more far reaching benefits. Simply put, we tend to relapse or otherwise act out in ways that could bring the organization of RCA into disrepute. By remaining anonymous, we protect RCA from our public personal failures.
Still more important are the implications of anonymity on ourselves. No matter who we may be in the outside world, in the rooms of RCA, we are just another couple trying to heal our coupleship. Anonymity tends to focus us away from the I, and towards the We–away from personalities and towards principles–away from egotism and towards a true humility.
Anonymity is a simple concept. It doesnt preach, but leads us gently by example. We all need healing. And as we reveal ourselves to one another in these rooms, we come to understand that it is less the I than the Coupleship that is important. And the more we understand our commonality instead of our distinctiveness, the more we heal.
Thus, we of Recovering Couples Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has particular spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; and that as we actually practice a genuine humility, we heal. Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we give up desire for personal distinction as members of RCA and before the general public. We believe that each of us is responsible to take part in the protection and preservation of RCA as a whole in order to grow and work in unity.