We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to commitment and intimacy.

In Step One we admitted we were powerless over our relationship. Step Two involves coming to some mutual understanding of what we trust as a couple, and what we believe. This is the beginning of a
spiritual quest. We seek to blend our traditions and to find meaning as a couple. We do this by first identifying our individual beliefs about a Higher Power. Once both partners have their own vision of a Higher Power, we can seek those aspects that are common to both of us; these become our couple’s Higher Power. Individuals within the coupleship may each have a separate vision of a Higher Power, but many couples believe there should be a goal of a mutual Higher Power shared by both partners.

One approach we find helpful is to cut sayings and pictures out of magazines that make us think of our Higher Power. We make collages to have a visual picture of our Higher Power. In making collages we share a deep, intimate look at our beliefs and feelings. As we share parts of ourselves, we may find a special connection. We find it helpful to frame and keep these collages accessible for our coupleship
and to share them with other couples. We are willing to accept our Higher Power and nurture our relationship with a sense of hope and freedom.

We also find writing Step Two a useful tool. We suggest you share one pencil and piece of paper as you do the Step. The following is a list of questions you may wish to consider to assist in your journey
of recovery. We suggest that you pause and read aloud the Safety Guidelines before moving forward:
  1. What family-of-origin messages about religion or spirituality have you brought into the coupleship?
  2. What kinds of instruction, modeling, teaching, etc. about religion or spirituality have you experienced?
  3. What forms of spiritual guidance have you received from your parents?
  4. Are there abuses or dysfunctional beliefs regarding couples you have learned from your religion?
  5. Are there healthy and supportive beliefs you have learned from your church, synagogue, or other spiritual path?
  6. Are there spiritual abuses you have experienced?
  7. Are there examples of one of your parents being the Higher Power in your family of origin?
  8. Are there examples of clergy or religious teachers being unkind, shaming, blaming, or belittling?
  9. Are you angry about religion, God, or your heritage?
  10. What do you accept or reject of the spiritual beliefs of your partner?
  11. Describe your vision of your Higher Power.
  12. What would it be like to have a relationship with this Higher Power?
Many of us made our partner our Higher Power. We focused on our partner and gave our partner the power to regulate our lives. Because of this, we found it necessary to find a spiritual connection
with a Higher Power, a center for our lives, rather than focusing on what others were doing. When we are spiritually centered, our partner’s actions do not bother us nearly as much as when we are not.
Additionally, it may be helpful to remember to HALT. When we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired we can lose touch with our spiritual center. We need to return to our spiritual center rather than fight with our partner.
Step Two allows us to believe that a Higher Power can restore us to commitment and intimacy. Step Three gives us an opportunity to develop a relationship with our Higher Power.
We admitted we were powerless over our relationship – that our lives together had become unmanageable.

Most of us have family-of-origin issues and all of us have a history. We may not have gotten what we needed emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually. When we were growing up there may have been abuse (physical, sexual, spiritual, or emotional), abandonment, or deprivation. We all bring “baggage” to the coupleship. The Steps teach us how to look at our baggage and how to reverse the process of blaming.

Each of us is responsible for the presence or absence of intimacy between us. As soon as each of us accepts responsibility, we are ready for Step One of RCA. Step One involves taking full responsibility for the health or disease of the relationship. Each person carries 100%.

Occasionally some couples might not be far enough along in their individual recovery (or not in recovery at all) to be able to answer the following questions, or they might get into fights or other
dysfunctional behavior simply by raising certain issues. In these cases, we encourage Step work be done only in the presence of a sponsoring couple.

Couples come into RCA at different stages. Step One involves understanding dysfunctional patterns. It also involves understanding family-of-origin issues, personality traits, and other individual issues that affect our current coupleship.

Writing is important for clarity and thoroughness. We suggest that you:
  1. Read aloud the “Safety Guidelines”.
  2. Take one pencil and one piece of paper and begin the process together. RCA is about the “we-ness” and “usness” of our relationship. In RCA, we open ourselves up to a new way of thinking and living in coupleship.
  3. Make couple decisions: Who will hold the pencil and do the writing? Are you able to share, negotiate, or compromise? Is there a power struggle? Are you ready to take the First Step?
  4. Divide the paper in half with a vertical line down the middle.
  5. Make lists of the coupleship issues over which you feel powerless.
  6. As an alternative, divide the duties of writing and dictating, or each write your own part.
We suggest you answer the following questions:
  1. What dysfunctional roles have you brought from your family of origin?
  2. What have your family-of-origin models taught you about relationships?
  3. If you have had experiences of abuse, how have those affected your ability to relate, to be intimate, and to be sexual?
  4. How do your individual addictions or dysfunctions affect your coupleship?
  5. What are recurring issues you never seem to resolve (e.g., how you spend money, how you spend your time together, parent, divide the household duties, celebrate the holidays, etc.)?
  6. How do these issues bring you to anger and what are your patterns of expressing anger?
  7. In what ways do you feel hopeless about your coupleship?
  8. In order to save your coupleship, what measures have you tried that haven’t seemed to work?
  9. How do you fight unfairly?
Understanding the powerlessness and unmanageability of your relationship is key. Remember, you are a beautiful and unique couple and you deserve recovery. Having surrendered thus far, you are ready to take Step Two.

This business meeting was postponed until the business meeting on January 29th because there were no items on the agenda.

New Agenda topic for January: for the keeping of the time, to use the clock that is provided by Zoom. I’ve been going to a meeting where they do that. It is really nice to see the “clock” tick the seconds down. There are several different “clocks” available & much to my surprise, it is not distracting. 

Barton irw Rebecca

Motion: PayPal account in the US be moved to Canada/Europe to not have issues of ownership for US/IRS. Voted: Unanimous to move ahead with transition. Details to be determined at a future date. Dave & Noni of Canada said they would help.

Secretary Couple Position – Oscar & Annie – out to prayer and sponsor couple to consider position. Debbie & Ruth stepped down as co-secretary couple.

Chris (irw Emma) announced now available to make changes on website.

Addendum: Treasures report was received – not available at meeting:

Amounts in USD

  Beginning Ending
Total balance *1,223.90 1,465.74


  Debit Credit
Donations   265.00
Payment fees -23.16  
Online payments 0  
  1. Treasures report delayed – login issue – will be reported next week.
  2. Service positions:
    Co- secretary couple was announced.
    Welcome couple – ( Couple has it out to prayer!)
    Contact Couple – Mandy & Dwayne (previously called list couple)
  3. Decided to remove calendar couple – not being used

  1. Treasurers report for June 2017.
  2. New format to be tested? Like screen sharing! Also have script available on website to read or download. Secretary couple can assist leaders before or during meeting to help empower couples for service. They want to be trained!
    1. Action Item: Deb and Ruth will create a fun how-to video!
  3. Service positions: (Had a couple respond will select position!)
    1. Co-Secretary Couple (January)
    2. A US co-treasurer couple. (Open)
    3. Welcome Couple. (Open)
    4. Web-Keeper (Open)
  4. Action items to be done:
    1. Group conscience to create a downloadable pdf file for the Sunday script and email to contact list. Ruth will do
    2. Ruth will simplify website for position


For next month:

  1. Discuss purchasing a kindle version of RCA blue book for trailblazers.
Trailblazers and RCA Announcements


2023 RCA Convention “Together Again” in San Diego

The convention will take place Sat.& Sun. Oct. 21st and 22nd in San Diego (F2f only).  The Annual Business Meeting (ABM) will be held Friday, October 20th – open to all free of charge (hybrid). Please visit our ABM/Convention page for more information.

There are 8 proposals to be discussed at the Annual Business Meeting in October.  Please look over these proposals here as they will be discussed at coming RCA Trailblazer’s Business Meetings so the Trailblazers’ delegate couple can make an informed decision at the ABM.

Sending a RCA Trailblazers Delegate Couple to the 2023 RCA Annual Business Meeting in October

The RCA Trailblazers Business Meeting on July 30 voted to allocate $400 of group treasury to defray travel costs to send a Trailblazers delegate couple to the Annual Business Meeting in October in San Diego, California.  In addition, it was decided that Trailblazers group members could make individual contributions to PayPal to supplement that $400 to help further defray travel costs by noting in the PayPal memo “for delegate couple travel to ABM.”


Around the World with International Story Shares via ZOOM

The RCA Story Share Meeting takes place every first Saturday of the month. Couples interested in sharing their stories are encouraged to contact Megan irw Sara.   Email:  megandaltonaz@me.com   



RCA Daily Reader Submissions

RCA is still looking for more submissions to create a Daily Reader.  Please submit your experience, strength and hope to: dailyreader@rca-wso.info

For more information, click this link.


Sponsorship Opportunities

Having trouble finding sponsors in RCA?  Are you willing to sponsor new couples?  Are you willing to take calls from new couples just starting out in RCA?

Please send an email to sponsorship@rca-wso.info and let us know if you need, or wish to sponsor.  You will be matched up with available couples.


RCA Europe Meeting

The RCA Europe group meets every Thursday from 7:30 to 8:45 p.m. Central European Time, which is 1:30 p.m. Eastern Time. You are invited to support this meeting with your attendance.

More meeting info here




Our common welfare should come first; couple recovery depends upon RCA unity.

As a fellowship we have seen that by working the Twelve Steps of the RCA program, our coupleships have grown in commitment and intimacy. The Twelve Traditions provide guidance and direction for the RCA fellowship. In order for the fellowship to flourish, the Twelve Traditions need to be understood and applied.

The Traditions are the glue and backbone of RCA itself. These Twelve Traditions come to us from the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and were adapted to the needs of our fellowship. We follow the Traditions to ensure the RCA fellowship will always be available for those couples who are recovering from addictions or dysfunctional behaviors that have affected their coupleships.

Many of us have found that doing service has helped to speed our healing process. We have a new sense of belonging when we learn to not isolate and to work with other couples.

Before recovery, many of us thought our own personal approach was the only correct one. However, we learned in our RCA groups to listen to our partner as well as other couples. We learned from other couples that partners have differing opinions and viewpoints. We became able to listen without judgment. We learned to share time with each other and not monopolize the group with “oh, ain’t it awful” stories. In our meetings, we learned to stay focused on the meeting topics. We learned to follow our Safety Guidelines and our group conscience process. Learning to respect the needs of the group taught us to respect the needs of our coupleship.

In addition to our own recovery, we have a responsibility to express ourselves to promote group unity. We have experience, strength and hope in our coupleships to share. We have histories that need to be heard which show we are not unique. As couples, we sometimes share just by listening and being present to hear other couples stories. However, if we consistently remain silent, it inhibits group unity.

Making newcomers feel welcome promotes RCA growth and unity. Some of the ways we have found helpful in making newcomers welcome are:

  • providing temporary sponsors,
  • giving out newcomer chips,
  • sharing how RCA has been helpful to us,
  • handing out newcomer packets with phone numbers of active members.
  • And of course, chatting informally with newcomers before and after the meeting.


For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority –  a loving God as known in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

Locally, we have service or leadership positions such as secretaries or chairs, treasurers, group contact couples, or delegate couples. Nationally and internationally we may see people serving on the Board of Trustees of the World Service Organization, or on its committees.

Those are individuals and couples who are willing to devote time, work and dedication to the RCA Fellowship. These RCA members serve and direct our fellowship by following our group conscience. The positions do not give authority beyond the consent of the fellowship. Ultimate RCA authority is from the bottom up, not the top down.

Rotation of officers gives equal opportunity for service, and restricts dominance by any individual or couple. This rotation emphasizes group conscience rather the control by any individual. Following this Tradition emphasizes equality among all members, teaching us that equality is the cornerstone of our coupleships.

Even when there is difficulty in finding someone to take a leadership position, it is important not to allow an individual or couple to continue doing the work indefinitely simply because they are willing to do so. People who remain in leadership positions too long can begin to feel they’re indispensable, or conversely, feel put upon or used. Therefore, we search for and encourage couples and members to volunteer for positions. Service helps a couple experience growth in their coupleship.

The Second Tradition reminds us not to assume authority over a sponsee couple. Our purpose is not to give advice or impose a decision. Sponsor couples agree to share their own experience, strength and hope. They are fair witnesses helping sponsee couples see their own processes as well as providing a safe space to work on their issues and options.

Longtime RCA couples may be helpful in starting new groups. Their role should be to guide the development and structure of the meetings, but then encourage other couples to assume the leadership roles as they gain program knowledge and experience.

The group conscience is what governs the group, and we arrive at this conscience, by open discussion. We set limits on holding office. We share the workload. This Tradition protects and safeguards all of us and our group. When this tradition is followed a state of humility exists because the source of authority is our Higher Power.