Meeting Date: 07/28/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Günter

Participants:

Quin & Lance

Yemi & Stefan

Shawna & Günter

Ruth & Leo

Julia & Stefan

Eleanne

 

June 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved.

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $  618.18

Donations: $  328.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 15.19 

                $160.88 for webhosting costs.

Current Balance: $ 930.99

Prudent reserve = $400.00

On the day of the meeting, Y&S transferred $ 230. to RCA-WSO (keeping prudent reserve of $400 plus $300 for the Delegat couple)

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

Price of website is very high ($150/ year)- Is this necessary?  (Stefan irw Yemi)

Moved ahead due to urgency.  The cost of the website (150$ per year) seems too high. We agreed to contact Chris and ask him to research the pricing, Quin offered to contact him.

Post meeting:
Chris replied “Our deal I believe is not a bad deal given that it is for web hosting and email… I’m reluctant to do a migration if it doesn’t make massive difference financially and expends a lot of time. The other option is to end the website and go through world services website.”
He asks: Stefan and Yemi if you can get a much better deal with email with blue then maybe that’s something that you can take on?…

 

Business Meeting Script

Group voted to adopt the format for the group conscience proceedings from the RCA Blue Book page 80 (as opposed to using Robert`s Rules). A limit of 1 minute in the go around was proposed. We will work with this format for a considerable time to see if everyone is happy with it.                  Vote:  5 Yes, 3 No

 

New Business: (To discuss)

·         Web Master service position: it may be time to hand over the webmaster reins?….Chris & Emma

·         Provide 1 min warning when shares are almost over.  (Spence irw Sally, Quin irw Lance)

·         Set last 15 minutes of meeting to invite newcomers to share or for others with a burning desire. (Lyralen irw Jude)

·         Add the reflections as an optional reading on week 4 script when we read functional / dysfunctional couples.  (Gretchen irw Jason)

·         Read newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window (Quin irw Lance)

·         Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance)

·         Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  [Used in UA/OA/SAA Virtual meeting formats] (Quin irw Lance)

·         Encourage newcomers to attend the 4th Sunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance)

Motion to adjourn:  Quin & Lance proposed to adjourn at 21:02. All in favour.

RCA Trailblazers Business Meeting Minutes

Meeting Date: 06/30/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Quin icw Lance

 

Participants:

Shawna

Yemi and Stefen

Lance and Quin

Kapiko and David

Ruth and Lew

Alison irw Mel

Stefan and Julia

Gretchen and Jason

Lyralen (left early)

Eleanne (left early)

 

May 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved.

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $  665.03

Donations: $  121.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 6.97  

                $160.88 for webhosting costs.

Current Balance: $ 618.18

Prudent reserve = $400.00

Holding on WSO donation until payment to delegate couple.

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

Business Meeting Script

Group voted to adopt the business meeting script which has been posted.  Will review to amend.

                Vote:  6 Yes, 1 No, 1 Abstain

                Discussion:

                Ruth icw Lew suggested for business meeting motions, we follow the outline in the RCA blue book instead of Roberts Rules of order.

                David icw Kapiko stated he has seen both methods in meetings.  Roberts rules of order may be faster for larger business meetings. 

                Quin icw Lance stated indifference to either method, and offered having timed discussions of 1 min per member to keep discussions short in honor of time. 

                Group voted to table this discussion till next meeting.

 

Post meeting:  Quin irw Lance submitted delegate couple registration form to WSO.

 

New Business: (To discuss)

·         Vote on when to transfer $300.00 reimbursement to our delegate couple, David and Kapiko. (Stefan irw Yemi)

·         Price of website is very high ($150/ year)- Is this necessary?  (Stefan irw Yemi)

·         Provide 1 min warning when shares are almost over.  (Spence irw Sally, Quin irw Lance)

·         Set last 15 minutes of meeting to invite newcomers to share or for others with a burning desire. (Lyralen irw Jude)

·         Add the reflections as an optional reading on week 4 script when we read functional / dysfunctional couples.  (Gretchen irw Jason)

·         Read newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window (Quin irw Lance)

·         Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance)

·         Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  [Used in UA/ OA/ SAA Virtual meeting formats] (Quin irw Lance)

·         Encourage newcomers to attend the 4th Sunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance)

 

Motion to adjourn:  Gretchen irw Jason.  2nd by Ruth irw Lew.  All in favor.

 

 

Minutes of Business Meeting RCA-Trailblazer

Date: 26-May-2019

Participants: Quin and Lance, Dan & Jodi, Eleanne, Shawna & Günter

Minutes: Günter irw Shawna

 

  1. Delegate couple reimbursement: discussion, previously voted for amount was 300 USD: unanimous vote to continue 300USD reimbursement (4 couples)
  2. Text for “Characteristics of dysfunctional relationships”: unanimous vote to place them on the Trailblazers website (4 couples). Quin will change the text to fit what is in the RCA book.
  3. Basic format for the business meeting: Quin presents an example / template; put it in the announcement section of our web site and vote for it at next business meeting: all in favor
  4. Time Change – the time for the meeting is based on 19:00 CET. The time change was very confusing this year for the North American members.. We will make announcements in October to prepare people better for the time change then.

Time changes 2019: October 27th

Time changes 2020: March 29th, October 25th

 

Treasurer’s Report:  (provided after meeting)

Previous Balance: $ 650.93   

Donations: $ 16.00

Payment / Fees: $-1.90   

Current Balance: $665.03   

Prudent reserve = $400.00

 

 

 

 

Characteristics of Dysfunctional and Functional Couples

1. Dysfunctional: Being together and unhappy is safer than being alone.
Functional: Being alone is comfortable, but working together can bring us greater joy and happiness. We are together because we want to be.

2. Dysfunctional: It is safer to be with other people than it is to be alone and intimate with our partners.
Functional: Being alone and intimate with our partners is becoming safe because we are learning to be open and honest.

3. Dysfunctional: If we really let our partners know what we have done or what we are feeling and thinking (who we are), we will be abandoned.
Functional: When we let our partners know what we have done or what we have been thinking (who we are), surprisingly, it is generally met with acceptance and actually increases our intimacy.

4. Dysfunctional: It is easier to hide or medicate our feelings through compulsive behaviors than it is to express them.
Functional: We are learning to express our feelings, no longer needing to hide or medicate them.

5. Dysfunctional: Being enmeshed and totally dependent on each other is perceived as being in love.
Functional: Being interdependent adds strength to our coupleship.

6. Dysfunctional: We find it difficult to ask for what we need, both individually and as couples.
Functional: We are learning that it is acceptable to ask for what we need, both individually and as couples.

7. Dysfunctional: Being sexual is equal to being intimate.
Functional: Being lovingly sexual can enhance our coupleships, but there are many additional ways of being intimate.

8. Dysfunctional: We either avoid our problems or feel we are individually responsible for solving the problems we have as couples.
Functional: We are learning to face our own problems but not feel individually responsible for solving all the problems we have as couples. It is normal for couples to have problems that are not immediately resolvable.

9. Dysfunctional: We believe that we must agree on everything.
Functional: We are learning it isn’t necessary to agree on everything to be happy.

10. Dysfunctional: We believe that we must enjoy the same things and have the same interests.
Functional: We are learning that we can have many different interests and still enjoy being together.

11. Dysfunctional: We believe that to be good couples we must be socially acceptable.
Functional: We believe that to be good couples we must be true to ourselves, to our coupleships, and to our principles.

12. Dysfunctional: We have forgotten how to play together.
Functional: We are discovering lightheartedness and the joy of playfulness.

13. Dysfunctional: It is safer to get upset about little issues than to express our true feelings about larger ones.
Functional: We are learning to appropriately express our true feelings about issues both large and small.

14. Dysfunctional: It is easier to blame our partners than it is to accept our individual responsibilities.
Functional: We are learning to accept our individual responsibilities rather than focusing on our partner’s.

15. Dysfunctional: We deal with conflict by getting totally out of control or by not arguing at all.
Functional: We are learning to deal with conflict appropriately and to fight fairly.

16. Dysfunctional: We experience ourselves as inadequate parents.
Functional: We are coming to accept our limitations as parents.

17. Dysfunctional: We are ashamed of ourselves as couples.
Functional: We are proud of the progress we are making as couples.

18. Dysfunctional: We repeat patterns of dysfunction from our families of origin.
Functional: We are recognizing the patterns of dysfunction from our families of origin–and
breaking them.

Recovering Couples Anonymous: A Twelve-Step Program for Couples (4th edition 2011, at p. 7).
© 1991, 2011 by the World Service Organization for Recovering Couples Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved

 

BUSINESS MEETING FORMAT for ONLINE MEETINGS

RECOVERING COUPLES ANONYMOUS

Draft 05/26/19

• All say the Serenity Prayer

• Chair announces the duration of the meeting and asks the time-keeper to give notice when nearing the time limit. 

• Reports:

          – Secretary’s minutes of the previous meeting

            Needs approval

         – Treasurer’s report

            Needs approval

         – General Service Board Representative’s report 
         – Other reports  (Welcome Couple, Contact List)

• Old Business (anything left unresolved in the previous meeting)

• New Business

• Adjournment

• All say the Serenity Prayer


Typical Business Meetings follow parliamentary procedures outlined in Robert’s Rules of Order. Some basic procedures are:

When new motions are made, they must be seconded, then followed with discussion. The chair then calls for a vote (“calls the question”).  

If someone other than the chair calls the question, this must be voted on before the motion itself is voted on.  

A motion to adjourn the meeting, if seconded, must be voted on immediately, without discussion. 

Meeting Date: 04/28/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Quin icw Lance

 

Participants:

Gunter and Shawna

Jorge  

Gretchen and Jason

Yemi and Stefen

Paul

Eleanne

Lance and Quin

 

Treasurer’s Report:

Previous Balance: $ 641.34

Donations: $ 28.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 18.41

                $15.00 of payments went to yearly website costs.

Current Balance: $ 650.93

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

PayPal:

  • RESOLVED – Ruth and Debbie are maintaining ownership of the Trailblazers’ PayPal account. The information has been updated to match WSO as it has been since initiation of the group.  Ruth and Debbie will address with WSO if there are any concerns.
  • RESOLVED – The treasurer couple was having trouble transferring funds for reimbursement and donations. They have since been able to successfully transfer funds.
    • Ruth and Debbie conferenced with Quin to confirm the ID on the PayPal account, which resolved the issue.

 

Delegate couple

  • In the past, we have supplied funds towards the travel costs of our delegate couples. We will discuss the possibility of making funds available for our current delegate couple, David and Kapiko. 
  • The topic of having a set agreement was brought up. We will ask the delegate couple to look at their travel costs, so that we can plan accordingly.  We will look at past donations and get more information to bring to our next business meeting.
  • Feb 2017, we supplied $300.00 in travel costs.

 

Script Change:

  • It was proposed that the leader script be changed to include examples of triggers to member’s sobriety within the section that cautions what appears on our screens.
    • Mandy icw Dwayne was not present at the business meeting to present issue.

 

DISCUSSION

  • It was felt that our focus is on couple’s recovery. It would divert us from our primary purpose to mention addictions that would be best addressed in other programs.
  • The experience of having to balance eating and the meeting was brought up. We are world-wide and it is important to respect self-care.
  • A member shared his personal experience of being distracted if there is too much activity on a screen, making it hard to listen to couples sharing. Having extra rules forms as a distraction.  It is better to have respect for each other and avoid too much action.
  • The script offers an opportunity to say you don’t feel safe and that you can write word safety in the meeting chat.
  • A member presented experience with chronic pain or illness, and they may need to lie down or eat during the meeting. SAA literature shows that many of us have felt burdened by the belief that we are responsible for the sexual feelings and behaviors of others. In program, we learn to be accountable for our own feelings and behaviors, and to let go of unhealthy responsibility for others.  It was suggested that if triggered, one can leave the room, put the screen focused on the couple sharing, or talk with a sponsor or another member outside of the meeting.
  • We are dealing with couples all over the world from different time zones. We’ve been respectful of not drinking or wearing inappropriate outfits.  It’s a personal relationship being formed in RCA.

MOTION

A Motion was made by Jorge icw Rosanna to not change the script. It was seconded by Gretchen icw Jason.

VOTE

Group voted unanimously to not change the script.

 

New Business:

Add functional / dysfunctional text to website

Create a business meeting script and post it on website.

Minutes by:  Lance icw Quin

Participants:

  • Lance & Quin
  • David & Kapiko
  • Stefan
  • Dave & Noni
  • Dwayne & Mandy
  • Gretchen & Jason

 

Treasurer’s Report:  

Previous Balance: $581.79
Donations: $63
PayPal Fees: -$3.45
Current Balance: $641.34

  • Treasurer’s Report was adopted unanimously.

 

Old Business:

February Meeting Minutes

    • The February Meeting Minutes were adopted unanimously.

PayPal:

    • The treasurer couple is still having trouble transferring funds for reimbursement and donations.
      • Paypal is asking to confirm the ID on the account.
    • Quin will reach out to Ruth & Debbie for their advice on the situation.

 

New Business:

Delegate Couple:

    • The Outreach Committee reached out to the group to select a Delegate Couple for the Annual Business Meeting at the Annual Convention.
    • David & Kapiko volunteered to be the group’s Delegate Couple.
    • It was voted unanimously to appoint David & Kapiko as the group’s Delegate Couple.

 

Paypal:

  • It was proposed that the group invest in a virtual address for the Paypal account, to lower the audit risk to the account.
  • The topic was tabled so that pricing information could be acquired for an informed decision.

 

Script Change:

  • It was proposed that the leader script be changed to include examples of triggers to member’s sobriety within the section that cautions what appears on our screens.
  • The topic was tabled for time and so that the proposer could write out the proposed script change.

Business Meeting: 02.24.19

Minutes by:  Lance icw Quin

Participants:

Shawna & Gunter
Lance & Quin
Kapiko & David
Yemi & Stefan

 

Treasurer’s Report:  

Previous Balance: $523.06
Donations: $63.00  
PayPal Fees: -$4.27
Current Balance: $589.79

*Note the Treasurer Couple want to transfer $189.79 to WSO, but were experiencing difficulty with the Paypalsystem. They will try again after the meeting.

 

Old Business:

​PayPal

o It was voted unanimously that Quin would be putting her name on the PayPal account for the time being.
Quin to contact Ruth and Debbie to get full information to transfer/ set up PayPal account in her name.
o There is an issue that we have discovered that the tax id on the PayPal account has been WSO’s since Trailblazers was founded.  They’ve recently denied us being able to use their tax id prior to this discovery. We will need to discuss this with the WSO.
o The idea was floated that we consider discontinuing using PayPal.

 

Script Change

o Shawna presented a proposed script change to make it easier to read the leader’s script, this focused in the area of the weekly topics.
o It was voted unanimously to approve Shawna’s proposed script changes, which will be applied to the leader’s script.

New Business:

​Hand-in-Hand

o The Hand-in-Hand newsletter is in need of a new publisher.
o It was agreed to announce at the announcements portion of the Sunday meeting.
o It was voted to add the information to the Trailblazer’s website.

 

International Speaker Meeting:

o There is a new monthly speaker meeting the first Saturday of the month.
o It was agreed that it will be announced at the announcements portion of the Sunday meeting and via email to all Trailblazer members.

Present:

Yemi irw Stefan

Quin irw Lance

Erik irw Marija

Kapiko irw David

 

ITEMS UP FOR DISCUSSION:

Welcome Couple – David and Kapiko

                Will get with Shawna and Gunter for the newcomer welcome letter.

Treasurer’s Report:

                Previous Balance:  $861.40

                Received $124.00 in donations

                Paypal Fees $7.48

                Newcomer Packet qty 1: $10.66

Current Balance:  $967.26

 

Old Business

Paypal Account:

As of 12/30/18 – no volunteers to take over paypal.  

We still need a solution for the Paypal account which is still on another member’s name.

Still pending response from WSO regarding using their EIN for an account.

 

Motion to  pay towards Ruth & Debbies additional tax fees. 

Passed:  8 yes
Need to ask Ruth and Debbie about tax liability.

Motion to donate any amount over $500.00 to WSO ($467.26) until financial transition is resolved.

                Passed:  5 yes, 2 abstain, 1 no.

To help members be willing to own the paypal account, voted to get info on costs / taxes from Ruth and Debbie.  Would like to get something written up as a description to provide to whomever takes over the paypal account if WSO replies with a no.

Group to continue to announce paypal account opening during meeting announcements.  Officers will ensure this is offered during the meetings.

 

Zoom Account:

Effective January 6, 2019, we will switch to RCA WSO’s Zoom account number:  965 190 161.

Quin submitted request to cancel Trailblazers paid zoom account on 12/30/18. 

The old paid zoom account is paid through Feb 2019 and will remain effective through this time.

Shawna and Gunter will log into the old Zoom ID to tell any stragglers to find the meeting at the new zoom ID.

Present:

Yemi irw Stefan

Quin irw Lance

Shawna

David

Gretchen irw Jason

 

ITEMS UP FOR DISCUSSION:

Switch to RCA World Service Zoom account to save $107.00 / mo

Discussion:   need to notify group members ahead of time for move.

Unanimous vote to switch to RCA World Service Zoom account.

  •  
    • E-mail new zoom room number to all members
    • Post on website
    • Add to meeting announcements

 

Treasurer’s Report:

Previous Balance:  $1,602.91

Received $64.00 in donations

Donated $800.00 to world service

Paypal Fees $5.51

Current Balance:  $861.40

 

Old Business

Paypal Account:

We still need a solution for the Paypal account which is still on another member’s name.  

Background

Our current dilemma is our current PayPal conflicts with another tax exempt PayPal account that Ruth and Debbie opened so they are no longer able to do that service and requested that we find someone else who can provide a Paypal account (or another way for people to make donations).  

  • Ruth offered to use her name and address on the RCA-WSO PayPal account. According to Gretchin this will not be possible because that one will be linked to the person who opened it.  
  • Shawna & Günter contacted RCA-WSO to ask if they would open a Paypal account for Trailblazers under the RCA-WSO Tax number.
    • World Service wanted to make an informed decision, so they will investigate whether having another Paypal account on their number will affect them in any way.
    • They also expressed concern about setting a precedent; the other Zoom meetings might want to also use their Tax ID.  
    • WSO will discuss and take a vote in December to see if they can support us in this way.

 

  • A tax ID uses an individual person’s name on creation.  Concerns of anonymity for other members.

 

  • Could there be a private organization setup for RCATrailblazers?   
    • Gretchen and Jason researched.  Found that it would cost a lot to become our own non-profit org. Not feasible.

 

  • Discussed being able to mail a check internationally to treasury couple.
    • Internationally, no check system.  In US, costs $50 to wire transfer internationally.  Not cost efficient.

 

New Business:  

World Service Office asked trailblazers to write an article for the hand-in-hand newsletter.  

  • Group to announce about the newsletter at the meeting and secretary to send link to sign up.

Current newsletter and enrolling:  http://recovering-couples.org/tools/materialsforcouples/

Archives:  http://recovering-couples.org/webdocs/hin/