RCA Trailblazers Business Meeting Minutes

Meeting Date: 10/27/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Lance icw Quin

 

Participants:

  • Shawna and Gunter
  • Lance and Quin
  • David
  • Ruth and Lew
  • Theodor and Beatrice
  • Paul and Cate
  • Gretchen and Jason
  • Michael and Andrea
  • Yemi and Stefan

 

September 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved

Treasurer’s Report:

Beginning Balance:  $851.27

End $752.22

Donations +$66.00

Payments / Fees -$4.40

Purchases – $160.65

Newcomer packet and Zoom account

 

Delegate Couple Reimbursement:

Stefan communicated concerns with David and Kapiko being reimbursed as our WSO delegates.

Since they didn’t have a paypal account, they were offering to be reimbursed by no longer making their 7th tradition contributions.

Quin offered to have a paypal transfer be made to a member with paypal and have a check or money order issued to David and Kapiko.

 

 Ruth and Lew meet with David and Kapiko face-to-face and offered to be paid and give money to David and Kapiko.  Yemi and Stefan will e-mail the payment to Ruth and Lew.

Quin and Lance offered to be a backup.

 

Old Business:

Officer Roles

Co Secretary couples – Gretchen & Jason and Paul & Cate

Welcome couple – David & Kapiko

Treasurer Couple – Bea & Theo

Web Couple – Lance & Quin

Contact List Couple – Shawna & Gunter

 

New Business  

  • Discuss having children in the meeting, even with headphones. (Tom and Sue). 

Motion failed as the originators were not present.

Discussion – no one at the business meeting has a problem with having children at the meeting with headphones.

                Lance- this may fall under the item of being mindful of who or what appears on your screen. 

                Gretchen & Jason – low issue

                David – Presenter not present to clarify.

 

  • Move meeting forward 30 minutes.

 For a true group conscience we announced this proposal throughout October.

Original Presenter – Elianne and Boris – not present.  

                Purpose – being able to put kids to bed.

Motion failed as the originators were not present.

                Discussion – present members were not in favor of moving meeting time forward.

                                Ruth irw Lew – will help pick up Hawaiian and Australian Couples.

                                Shawna and Gunter -Daylight savings time may create confusion.

                               

Motion to adjourn:

By: Quin icw Lance. 2nd Gretchen and Jason

All in favor

Attendees:

Shawna & Gunter

Lance & Quin

David

Yemi & Stefan

Paul & Cate

Gretchen & Jason

Theodor & Beatrice

 

New Business:

  • Zoom
    • Due to difficulties with WSO’s Zoom account not letting members login, and the upcoming time change in Europe, an emergency vote was brought forward on how to proceed with the Zoom account.
      • Discussion:
        • Reactivating our old Zoom account would allow us to be self-supporting.
      • Motion
        • Re-active our old Zoom account was called by Yemi, seconded by Gretchen.
        • Motion passed unanimously.
      • Motion:
        • Notify all members on the email list of the new Zoom number and keep the time zone based in Copenhagen was called by Quin, seconded by Shawna.
        • Motion passed unanimously.

Minutes by:  Shawna irw Günter

Participants:

Felicita and Richard

Shawna and Günter

Stefan

Lance and Quin

Kapiko

Paul and Cate

August 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved with one amendment (re-add to the Business the motion to move the meeting time 30minutes forward).

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $   762.25

Donations: $ 95.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 5.98

Current Balance: $   851.27

Prudent reserve = $400.00

The treasurer’s report was submitted post meeting so has not yet been approved.

Old Business:

  • Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance) – Motion seconded by Kapiko. All in favour. This will be added to the Newcomer script.
  • Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  (Quin irw Lance) – All in favour. This will be added to the script.
  • Encourage newcomers to attend the 4thSunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance) Motion not seconded. Aborted.
  • Contact list couple position needs to be filled. – Shawna and Günter will hand the position over to Paul and Cate. All approved.

New Business (To discuss)

  • Discuss having children in the meeting, even with headphones. (Tom and Sue). 
  • Tabled – Move meeting forward 30 minutes. – for a true group conscience we decided to add this to the group announcements and vote on it in the October business meeting. All agreed.

Motion to adjourn:

By: Quin icw Lance. All in favour.

RCA Trailblazers Business Meeting Minutes

Meeting Date: 08/25/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Quin icw Lance

 

Participants:

Shawna and Gunter

Yemi and Stefen

Lance and Quin

David and Kapiko

Ruth and Lew

Joe

Paul and Cate

Gretchen and Jason

 

 

July 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved.

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $   930.99

Donations: $ 67.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 4.75

                $ 230.99 to WSO

Current Balance: $   762.25

Prudent reserve = $400.00

 Treasurer’s report approved.

 

 

Old  Business:

  • Reimbursing our WSO delegate couple – David and Kapiko
    • Treasurer, Yemi and Stefan, will reach out with them to get their account to setup the paypal transfer
  • Website hosting costs discussion.
    • Revisited minutes from July meeting – Chris feels we have a good plan for now. Does not advise transferring website.
    • Table and allow new web master to research – unanimous
  • Web Master service position: it may be time to hand over the webmaster reins (Chris irw Emma)

          Tabled – will announce availability each meeting.

  • Provide 1 min warning when shares are almost over. (Spence irw Sally)
    • Members shared that keeping track of time makes it difficult for the timer to focus on what was shared. (David irw Kapiko)
    • Difficulty with phone /timer role (Gretchen irw Jason)
    • Motion -Keep timing as it is – Shawna irw Gunter
      • Second by Ruth irw Lew
    • All in favor of keeping the same timing format of 3 minutes total.
      • In Favor: 12
      • Against: 0
      • Abstaining : 1

 

 

  • Set last 15 minutes of meeting to invite newcomers to share or for others with a burning desire. (Lyralen irw Jude)
    • Motions:
    • Susan motioned to have chair have newcomers to introduce themselves at the beginning of the meeting.
      • In favor: 13 unanimous

 

  • Shawna motioned to amend statement to announce in last 15 minutes for the newcomers to share
    • In favor: 13 unanimous

 

  • Add the reflections as an optional reading on week 4 script when we read functional / dysfunctional couples.  (Gretchen irw Jason)
    • Discussion:
      • We keep reading step 1 when newcomers may benefit from any of these readings –reflections, topics, or characteristics – Gretchen irw Jason
      • We could bring back the Topic of the month as a weekly reading – Quin icw Lance
    • Motion
    • Have chair choose to read reflection or characteristics of function or dysfunctional couples
      • In Favor: 12
      • Against: 0
      • Abstaining : 1

 

  • Read newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window (Quin irw Lance)
    • Discussion:
    • Quin – this section was read today and took a total of 10 seconds.
    • Motion:
    • Chair to read the newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window
      • Seconded by Shawna irw Gunter
      • In favor: 13 Unanimous  

 

 

New Business:  (To discuss)

 

  • Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance)
  • Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  [Used in UA/OA/SAA Virtual meeting formats] (Quin irw Lance)
  • Encourage newcomers to attend the 4thSunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance)
  • Contact list couple position needs to be filled.
  • Discuss having children on screen – even with headphones (Tom and Sue)

 

 

Motion to adjourn: 

By: Quin icw Lance

2nd by: Shawna icw Gunter

All in favor.

 

(From the RCA Trailblazers Delegate Couple, David and Kapiko)

The 2019 RCA annual convention, with the theme “Recovering Romance in the City of Roses,” took place in Portland, Oregon, from August 2 through August 4, 2019. We were in attendance from the opening through the closing of the convention.

This year’s convention was the largest in RCA’s history, with 130 couples in attendance. There were many familiar faces from prior conventions. Close to one-third of the couples were attending their first annual convention, and some of the couples were relative newcomers, having been in RCA for less than two months. The level of energy, excitement and recovery was extraordinary. Couples came from all over the United States (25 states represented) and other countries around the world, including Canada (British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario and Quebec), the United Kingdom, Denmark, Sweden and South Africa.

We are extremely grateful to all the members of RCA Oregon who participated in hosting this very successful convention.

Annual Business Meeting

On Friday, August 2, we attended the annual business meeting, chaired by Dick M. irw Vicki.

There are 138 meetings registered with RCA (although it has not been possible to verify whether all of these meetings still are in existence). All delegates, in person or by proxy, were registered and their credentials approved, for a total of 26 delegates. A quorum consists of 10 percent of the registered meetings (i.e., 14 delegates for this convention), and an annual business meeting can go forward only if a quorum is present. Because at least 14 delegates were present, a quorum was certified.

David H. irw Kathleen was re-appointed to serve as parliamentarian.

The officers and committee chairs submitted written reports, all of which are contained in the attached annual report. The officers also summarized their reports at the meeting. Here are some of the highlights.

Chair

Dick and Vicki have served on the Board of Trustees of the RCA WSO (Board) for the past three years and are rotating out of their service. Dick encouraged members to volunteer for service on the Board or committees. The only requirements for Board membership are at least three years of regular attendance at RCA meetings and completion of the Fifth Step. An application to serve on the Board is now found on the RCA website.

Dick reported on RCA’s independent contractors, including Ann Garrison (financial services), Betsy Dintaman (merchandise), Bob Petitti (communication) and Thetford Web Development (web contractor)

Vice Chair

Vicki R. irw Mark is the vice chair. She introduced the committee chairs, who gave their reports.

Treasurer

The treasurer is Chris R. irw Francesca. Chris supplied financial statements prepared by Ann Garrison (appended to the annual report). Note that pages 1-4 and 6-8 are for the fiscal year ending June 30, 2019; due to a miscommunication with Ann, pages 5, 9 and 10 are only for the month of June 2019.

Gross income for the fiscal year ending June 30, 2019 (FY 2019), totaled $64,720, but this had to be adjusted to take out convention income of $21,020, leaving gross income of $43,700 for FY 2019. Income for FY 2019 included contributions of $16,523, literature sales of $19,261 and operating income such as royalties, which totaled $7,915.

Expenses for FY 2019 totaled $21,575, consisting of contractor expenses ($11,733), other operating expenses ($6,494) and expenses of the annual business meeting ($3,349).

After adjusting for convention income from FY 2017 and FY 2018, which should not have been included with FY 2019 income, and after deducting costs of goods sold and expenses, net income for FY 2019 totaled $15,267. This represented an increase of $2,402 over FY 2018.

Total cash at the beginning of FY 2019 was $61,415. Total cash at the end of FY 2019 was $98,059. John R. irw Jean pointed out that the amount of cash on hand, including the prudent reserve, is becoming excessive, and the Board will look into appropriate expenditures of excess cash, such as expanding the fellowship. But the Board will check the budget before committing to any new expenditures.

A delegate suggested that the RCA “budget” should be called a “spending plan” because the delegate believed that “budget” connoted deprivation. No action was taken on the suggestions.

Additional information can be found in the financial statements.

Hand in Hand Committee

The publisher of the quarterly RCA newsletter, Hand in Hand, has stepped down, and as a result, publication has been suspended. The Board is seeking another person who is willing to take on the service commitment of publishing Hand in Hand.

Literature Committee

Vicki R. irw Mark is the chair of the Literature Committee. She reported that the Literature Committee continues to reach out to members to provide submissions to the RCA Daily Reader. At the time of her report, the committee had received 140 submissions. A total of 366 submissions is necessary to complete the book. Vicki reported that, since 130 couples were registered at the convention, if each member contributed just one submission, RCA would have enough submissions to edit and publish the book before the end of 2019. There will be a breakout session at the convention in which members can write submissions. (Since the convention, the committee now has a total of 171 submissions.)

Merchandise Committee

Dan O’C. irw Kate is the chair of the Merchandise Committee. He submitted a detailed report, including tables, in the RCA annual report. Dan reported the current issues regarding sales tax. States are becoming more aggressive in asserting the right to collect sales tax on online sales. Currently, RCA pays sales tax to California and Virginia, as RCA is considered to have a physical presence in those states. The committee is investigating issues regarding taxation of sales through Amazon. The Board has hired a CPA, with a budget not to exceed $1,000, to investigate sales tax requirements for other states.

There was discussion as to why RCA sells its literature through both Amazon and its own website. The question was raised why RCA does not sell its literature only through its own website, so that RCA would not have to share its revenue with Amazon.

Many delegates addressed this subject and pointed out the benefits of making RCA literature available through Amazon, which exposes it to searches by persons who might never have known of RCA otherwise. The Trailblazers delegate couple pointed out that, as welcome couple, they had communications with newcomers from Europe, who, by ordering on Amazon, had been able to obtain RCA literature in a matter of days.

Outreach Committee

Gopal K. irw Wendy is the chair of the Outreach Committee. Outreach includes many things, such as taking on a service commitment as a welcome couple, greeting people at a local RCA meeting or convention and hosting a couple visiting the United States for the first time, etc.

The Committee is responsible for communication with the Group Contact Couples (GCCs). One of the issues is that some of the GCCs are no longer reachable through their contact information. The Committee is working on updating the list of GCCs.

The delegate from San Francisco, California, suggested that the Board take active steps to increase the fellowship. It was pointed out that RCA already has a separate Growing-the-Fellowship Committee but that the Committee has become inactive due to lack of membership. The delegate was invited to serve on that Committee and to revitalize it, and she graciously accepted.

The delegate from Oakland, California, drew attention to the low level of diversity in RCA and emphasized the need for RCA to take steps to increase the diversity of the fellowship in its outreach efforts.

It was pointed out that Spanish-speaking couples have contacted RCA seeking Spanish-speaking meetings, but that there are no such meetings at this time. Efforts will be made to seek out Spanish-speaking couples who currently are RCA members to see if they would be willing to start a meeting that will be conducted in Spanish.

Recruitment Committee

John R. irw Jean is the chair of the Recruitment Committee. The focus of the Recruitment Committee is recruiting members to serve on the Board of Trustees and on the committees that serve the Board. An update regarding the status of the committees and the efforts of the Recruitment Committee can be found in the annual report.

Structure Committee

David H. irw Kathleen is the chair of the Structure Committee. The purview of the Structure Committee includes rules, resolutions and credentials. Motions must be submitted to the Committee for ranking and submission to the RCA fellowship’s groups for voting in advance of the annual business meeting. Because no proposals were submitted this year, the task of the Committee was quite light.

There was a discussion regarding what can and cannot be proposed and acted upon at an annual business meeting which, under RCA’s bylaws, is quite limited.

Technology and Website Committee

Mark R. irw Vicki is the chair of the Technology and Website Committee. A detailed report of the activities of the Committee is found in the annual report.

Ad Hoc Committee on Trademarks and Copyrights

Dan O’C. irw Kate is the chair of this ad hoc committee. Applications were made to the US Patent and Trademark Office to obtain trademark protection for “Recovering Couples Anonymous,” “RCA” and the RCA logo, as well as to look into the possibility of copyright protection for the logo. Registration of “Recovering Couples Anonymous” and the RCA logo has been granted. Trademark registration for “RCA” is pending.

The Committee also will begin the process of applying for registration of the RCA trademarks on the RCA website. (Registration for the website is separate from registration for RCA literature.)

Translation Committee

Annette K. irw Widar is the chair of the Translation Committee. The translation of the 4th edition of the RCA blue book into Swedish and German has been completed, and books are being sold. A draft of the Danish translation has been prepared but the project has not been completed due a lack of new members on the Danish literature translation committee.

The Spanish translation of the 4th edition and other literature has been completed but the literature has not been selling well, and outreach to the Spanish-speaking community is needed.

Annual Convention

The convention formally opened on Friday evening with dinner, followed by the opening address by David and Kapiko, of California. Afterward, many couples participated in Irish dancing.

A wide selection of Saturday breakout sessions was available. The sessions were well attended. A list of the sessions is attached. Also, some members took advantage of a guided walking tour through downtown Portland.

Following dinner, Andy and Steve, of Hawaii, gave the keynote address. (Audio recordings of the addresses of both speaker couples are available on the RCA website:
https://www.recovering-couples.org/webdocs/audio/2019ACC-David-irw-Kapiko.m4a
https://www.recovering-couples.org/webdocs/audio/2019ACC-Steve-irw-Andy.m4a

Afterward, there was dancing to the live music provided by the band, the Low Bottoms, one of whom is a member of RCA in Portland and all of whom are in recovery. The band was outstanding.

The convention closed on Sunday morning with gratitude circles at each of the tables. One member at each table wrote up a summary of the comments of gratitude from the members at that table, and then, table by table, the summaries were shared with the entire fellowship.

Election of Board Members

The election of members of the RCA Board took place on Sunday morning. A quorum, consisting of 24 delegates in person and four proxies, was certified.

There were three vacant seats on the RCA Board. The names of four couples were

placed in nomination:

Tami R. irw John R., of Huntington Beach, California (El Segundo home group)

Michael W. irw Suzanne V.H., of Oakland, California (Oakland home group)

Art F. irw Sharon H., of Marina del Rey, California (El Segundo home group)

Angie B. irw Greg B., of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada (Vancouver home group)

Tami R. irw John R., Michael W irw Suzanne V.H. and Angie B. irw Greg B. were elected to the Board, and Art F. irw Sharon H. were elected as alternate members of the Board.

Invitation to the 2020 RCA annual convention in Reston, Virginia (just outside Washington, D.C.)

The 2020 RCA annual convention will be held in Reston, Virginia. The convention site is very close to Dulles International Airport, which serves Washington, D.C. There is a great deal of excitement regarding the next convention, which will be hosted by couples from RCA groups in Virginia, Maryland and North Carolina. The theme of the convention is “2020: A Vision for You – Love and Understanding Beyond Our Wildest Dreams.”

The convention will take place at the Sheraton Hotel in Reston, and RCA has negotiated a special rate of $99 per night for the convention, which includes a hot breakfast. Some couples may wish to arrive before or to stay after the convention, in order to visit Washington, D.C., and the surrounding areas. The hotel will make the special rate of $99 per night available for up to five couples on Wednesday night, 20 couples on Thursday and Sunday night, and 10 couples on Monday night.

The cost of the convention, which includes lunch and dinner on Saturday, is an affordable $220 per couple for those couples registering before 2/20/2020. Afterward, the cost will be $250 per couple. Many couples already have signed up to attend.

Watch the RCA website for additional information and registration applications.

Conventions for 2021 through 2023

The 2021 RCA annual convention is scheduled to take place in Tucson, Arizona. The convention committee is gauging support for various venues, as well as the possibility of holding the convention in a month other than August, given the high heat and humidity in Tucson at that time of year.

The 2022 convention is scheduled to take place in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Preliminary discussions are taking place with RCA Germany regarding the possibility of holding the 2023 convention in Germany.

Meeting Date: 07/28/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Günter

Participants:

Quin & Lance

Yemi & Stefan

Shawna & Günter

Ruth & Leo

Julia & Stefan

Eleanne

 

June 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved.

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $  618.18

Donations: $  328.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 15.19 

                $160.88 for webhosting costs.

Current Balance: $ 930.99

Prudent reserve = $400.00

On the day of the meeting, Y&S transferred $ 230. to RCA-WSO (keeping prudent reserve of $400 plus $300 for the Delegat couple)

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

Price of website is very high ($150/ year)- Is this necessary?  (Stefan irw Yemi)

Moved ahead due to urgency.  The cost of the website (150$ per year) seems too high. We agreed to contact Chris and ask him to research the pricing, Quin offered to contact him.

Post meeting:
Chris replied “Our deal I believe is not a bad deal given that it is for web hosting and email… I’m reluctant to do a migration if it doesn’t make massive difference financially and expends a lot of time. The other option is to end the website and go through world services website.”
He asks: Stefan and Yemi if you can get a much better deal with email with blue then maybe that’s something that you can take on?…

 

Business Meeting Script

Group voted to adopt the format for the group conscience proceedings from the RCA Blue Book page 80 (as opposed to using Robert`s Rules). A limit of 1 minute in the go around was proposed. We will work with this format for a considerable time to see if everyone is happy with it.                  Vote:  5 Yes, 3 No

 

New Business: (To discuss)

·         Web Master service position: it may be time to hand over the webmaster reins?….Chris & Emma

·         Provide 1 min warning when shares are almost over.  (Spence irw Sally, Quin irw Lance)

·         Set last 15 minutes of meeting to invite newcomers to share or for others with a burning desire. (Lyralen irw Jude)

·         Add the reflections as an optional reading on week 4 script when we read functional / dysfunctional couples.  (Gretchen irw Jason)

·         Read newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window (Quin irw Lance)

·         Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance)

·         Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  [Used in UA/OA/SAA Virtual meeting formats] (Quin irw Lance)

·         Encourage newcomers to attend the 4th Sunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance)

Motion to adjourn:  Quin & Lance proposed to adjourn at 21:02. All in favour.

RCA Trailblazers Business Meeting Minutes

Meeting Date: 06/30/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Quin icw Lance

 

Participants:

Shawna

Yemi and Stefen

Lance and Quin

Kapiko and David

Ruth and Lew

Alison irw Mel

Stefan and Julia

Gretchen and Jason

Lyralen (left early)

Eleanne (left early)

 

May 2019 minutes:  reviewed and approved.

Treasurer’s Report: 

Previous Balance: $  665.03

Donations: $  121.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 6.97  

                $160.88 for webhosting costs.

Current Balance: $ 618.18

Prudent reserve = $400.00

Holding on WSO donation until payment to delegate couple.

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

Business Meeting Script

Group voted to adopt the business meeting script which has been posted.  Will review to amend.

                Vote:  6 Yes, 1 No, 1 Abstain

                Discussion:

                Ruth icw Lew suggested for business meeting motions, we follow the outline in the RCA blue book instead of Roberts Rules of order.

                David icw Kapiko stated he has seen both methods in meetings.  Roberts rules of order may be faster for larger business meetings. 

                Quin icw Lance stated indifference to either method, and offered having timed discussions of 1 min per member to keep discussions short in honor of time. 

                Group voted to table this discussion till next meeting.

 

Post meeting:  Quin irw Lance submitted delegate couple registration form to WSO.

 

New Business: (To discuss)

·         Vote on when to transfer $300.00 reimbursement to our delegate couple, David and Kapiko. (Stefan irw Yemi)

·         Price of website is very high ($150/ year)- Is this necessary?  (Stefan irw Yemi)

·         Provide 1 min warning when shares are almost over.  (Spence irw Sally, Quin irw Lance)

·         Set last 15 minutes of meeting to invite newcomers to share or for others with a burning desire. (Lyralen irw Jude)

·         Add the reflections as an optional reading on week 4 script when we read functional / dysfunctional couples.  (Gretchen irw Jason)

·         Read newcomer welcome as well as post in chat window (Quin irw Lance)

·         Invite newcomers to stay after the meeting to chat with Welcome Couple or ask questions (Quin irw Lance)

·         Create Greeter Couple role who agrees to meet w/ newcomer couples after the meeting in event Welcome Couple is not on meeting.  This role can be asked for at start of each meeting.  [Used in UA/ OA/ SAA Virtual meeting formats] (Quin irw Lance)

·         Encourage newcomers to attend the 4th Sunday meeting which is a Newcomer/ Anniversary meeting.  (Quin irw Lance)

 

Motion to adjourn:  Gretchen irw Jason.  2nd by Ruth irw Lew.  All in favor.

 

 

Minutes of Business Meeting RCA-Trailblazer

Date: 26-May-2019

Participants: Quin and Lance, Dan & Jodi, Eleanne, Shawna & Günter

Minutes: Günter irw Shawna

 

  1. Delegate couple reimbursement: discussion, previously voted for amount was 300 USD: unanimous vote to continue 300USD reimbursement (4 couples)
  2. Text for “Characteristics of dysfunctional relationships”: unanimous vote to place them on the Trailblazers website (4 couples). Quin will change the text to fit what is in the RCA book.
  3. Basic format for the business meeting: Quin presents an example / template; put it in the announcement section of our web site and vote for it at next business meeting: all in favor
  4. Time Change – the time for the meeting is based on 19:00 CET. The time change was very confusing this year for the North American members.. We will make announcements in October to prepare people better for the time change then.

Time changes 2019: October 27th

Time changes 2020: March 29th, October 25th

 

Treasurer’s Report:  (provided after meeting)

Previous Balance: $ 650.93   

Donations: $ 16.00

Payment / Fees: $-1.90   

Current Balance: $665.03   

Prudent reserve = $400.00

 

 

 

 

Characteristics of Dysfunctional and Functional Couples

1. Dysfunctional: Being together and unhappy is safer than being alone.
Functional: Being alone is comfortable, but working together can bring us greater joy and happiness. We are together because we want to be.

2. Dysfunctional: It is safer to be with other people than it is to be alone and intimate with our partners.
Functional: Being alone and intimate with our partners is becoming safe because we are learning to be open and honest.

3. Dysfunctional: If we really let our partners know what we have done or what we are feeling and thinking (who we are), we will be abandoned.
Functional: When we let our partners know what we have done or what we have been thinking (who we are), surprisingly, it is generally met with acceptance and actually increases our intimacy.

4. Dysfunctional: It is easier to hide or medicate our feelings through compulsive behaviors than it is to express them.
Functional: We are learning to express our feelings, no longer needing to hide or medicate them.

5. Dysfunctional: Being enmeshed and totally dependent on each other is perceived as being in love.
Functional: Being interdependent adds strength to our coupleship.

6. Dysfunctional: We find it difficult to ask for what we need, both individually and as couples.
Functional: We are learning that it is acceptable to ask for what we need, both individually and as couples.

7. Dysfunctional: Being sexual is equal to being intimate.
Functional: Being lovingly sexual can enhance our coupleships, but there are many additional ways of being intimate.

8. Dysfunctional: We either avoid our problems or feel we are individually responsible for solving the problems we have as couples.
Functional: We are learning to face our own problems but not feel individually responsible for solving all the problems we have as couples. It is normal for couples to have problems that are not immediately resolvable.

9. Dysfunctional: We believe that we must agree on everything.
Functional: We are learning it isn’t necessary to agree on everything to be happy.

10. Dysfunctional: We believe that we must enjoy the same things and have the same interests.
Functional: We are learning that we can have many different interests and still enjoy being together.

11. Dysfunctional: We believe that to be good couples we must be socially acceptable.
Functional: We believe that to be good couples we must be true to ourselves, to our coupleships, and to our principles.

12. Dysfunctional: We have forgotten how to play together.
Functional: We are discovering lightheartedness and the joy of playfulness.

13. Dysfunctional: It is safer to get upset about little issues than to express our true feelings about larger ones.
Functional: We are learning to appropriately express our true feelings about issues both large and small.

14. Dysfunctional: It is easier to blame our partners than it is to accept our individual responsibilities.
Functional: We are learning to accept our individual responsibilities rather than focusing on our partner’s.

15. Dysfunctional: We deal with conflict by getting totally out of control or by not arguing at all.
Functional: We are learning to deal with conflict appropriately and to fight fairly.

16. Dysfunctional: We experience ourselves as inadequate parents.
Functional: We are coming to accept our limitations as parents.

17. Dysfunctional: We are ashamed of ourselves as couples.
Functional: We are proud of the progress we are making as couples.

18. Dysfunctional: We repeat patterns of dysfunction from our families of origin.
Functional: We are recognizing the patterns of dysfunction from our families of origin–and breaking them.

Recovering Couples Anonymous: A Twelve-Step Program for Couples (4th edition 2011, at p. 7).
© 1991, 2011 by the World Service Organization for Recovering Couples Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved

Meeting Date: 04/28/2019 – Sunday

Minutes by:  Quin icw Lance

 

Participants:

Gunter and Shawna

Jorge  

Gretchen and Jason

Yemi and Stefen

Paul

Eleanne

Lance and Quin

 

Treasurer’s Report:

Previous Balance: $ 641.34

Donations: $ 28.00

Payment / Fees: -$ 18.41

                $15.00 of payments went to yearly website costs.

Current Balance: $ 650.93

Treasurer’s report approved.

 

Old Business:

PayPal:

  • RESOLVED – Ruth and Debbie are maintaining ownership of the Trailblazers’ PayPal account. The information has been updated to match WSO as it has been since initiation of the group.  Ruth and Debbie will address with WSO if there are any concerns.
  • RESOLVED – The treasurer couple was having trouble transferring funds for reimbursement and donations. They have since been able to successfully transfer funds.
    • Ruth and Debbie conferenced with Quin to confirm the ID on the PayPal account, which resolved the issue.

 

Delegate couple

  • In the past, we have supplied funds towards the travel costs of our delegate couples. We will discuss the possibility of making funds available for our current delegate couple, David and Kapiko. 
  • The topic of having a set agreement was brought up. We will ask the delegate couple to look at their travel costs, so that we can plan accordingly.  We will look at past donations and get more information to bring to our next business meeting.
  • Feb 2017, we supplied $300.00 in travel costs.

 

Script Change:

  • It was proposed that the leader script be changed to include examples of triggers to member’s sobriety within the section that cautions what appears on our screens.
    • Mandy icw Dwayne was not present at the business meeting to present issue.

 

DISCUSSION

  • It was felt that our focus is on couple’s recovery. It would divert us from our primary purpose to mention addictions that would be best addressed in other programs.
  • The experience of having to balance eating and the meeting was brought up. We are world-wide and it is important to respect self-care.
  • A member shared his personal experience of being distracted if there is too much activity on a screen, making it hard to listen to couples sharing. Having extra rules forms as a distraction.  It is better to have respect for each other and avoid too much action.
  • The script offers an opportunity to say you don’t feel safe and that you can write word safety in the meeting chat.
  • A member presented experience with chronic pain or illness, and they may need to lie down or eat during the meeting. SAA literature shows that many of us have felt burdened by the belief that we are responsible for the sexual feelings and behaviors of others. In program, we learn to be accountable for our own feelings and behaviors, and to let go of unhealthy responsibility for others.  It was suggested that if triggered, one can leave the room, put the screen focused on the couple sharing, or talk with a sponsor or another member outside of the meeting.
  • We are dealing with couples all over the world from different time zones. We’ve been respectful of not drinking or wearing inappropriate outfits.  It’s a personal relationship being formed in RCA.

MOTION

A Motion was made by Jorge icw Rosanna to not change the script. It was seconded by Gretchen icw Jason.

VOTE

Group voted unanimously to not change the script.

 

New Business:

Add functional / dysfunctional text to website

Create a business meeting script and post it on website.